My assumption that my credentials and titles would shield me from racism were wrong. Well, I never really thought that but it sounded good. I’ve been a naysayer on the entire microaggression movement. For those who don’t know, microaggressions are derogatory slights or snubs (intentional or unintentional) that target people based solely on their marginalized group affiliation.
Back to the story. Despite my credentials and titles, I was the victim of microaggression. The funny thing is (not funny ha-ha) it happened twice…by the same person. First, he said it to me. I smiled and I carried on. Then, he said it again in front of three other people and again, I carried on.
I honestly don’t think this person has any ill-will towards me or any other black person but his inability to recognize what is appropriate and what’s not is disheartening. I am very disappointed how the entire thing unfolded. Not because of him, but because of me. I should have said something. I should have let him know that I am member of a marginalized group, and regardless of my educational attainment, I am still very much a part of that group. Am I a representative example of my group affiliation? I think not. The problem is, I am not representative of any particular group (in my own grandiose opinion).
Since you’ve read this far you must really want to know what he said. Well, I won’t keep you guessing. He said, “You think you’re black.” Then he said, “She think she’s black.”
Well, to my friend and colleague, who shall remain nameless (unless he reads this blog)…YOU ARE RIGHT…I AM NOT BLACK, I’M DIPPED IN CHOCOLATE!
Reason.com
Stirring Up Trouble by DrVLoLil 
Thank you for sharing this story. It is helpful to this reader first, because I did not know what microaggression was, or that the term even existed. Second, now that I do, I hope to avoid making the same mistake. I would like to think I know what is appropriate, but as evidenced by your experience, it is possible to not even know when we don’t know (not sure if that makes sense). This is one of those times when I can learn from someone else’s mistake.
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Perfect! My intent.
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When I read this post it completely reminded me of when I was in South Africa and I experienced a similar situation. As a Mexican-American young woman who was born and raised in this Country I have never really experienced that type of aggression because well for one I live in Salinas where most of the population is Hispanic. It wasn’t until I was in South Africa and I became part of the minority that I realized this was happening to me. It was crazy because I didn’t even realize it myself until I really thought about it and was like okay wait a minute this isn’t funny. I think the incident that stuck with me the most was when a South African said to me “If you are Mexican why aren’t you brown and why don’t you act Mexican? You act as if you are American”. When that person said that to me I laughed about it but then later on I was like okay just because I am Mexican does not mean I have to be brown. And how does someone even “ACT” American? I mean I am Mexican, but I wasn’t born there I was born in America. It’s weird you know because when I go to Mexico my cousins tell me I don’t act Mexican that I am American. So then I’m like if I do not act American according to some people and I don’t act Mexican according to other people….THEN WHAT AM I? ….of course I laugh about it after because I KNOW I am just as Mexican as I am American.
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Jocelyn,
Thanks for the comment. I’m glad I’m not alone in this.
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I really enjoyed this from your perspective. I thought it was interesting to read that you were disappointed on how it played out not because of what he said, but how you reacted to what he said. I know that I have events where I wished that I had done things differently. This leads to wondering to wanting to know if it makes a difference.
I had never heard of microaggressions until I entered college. I come from a small town where microaggression could happen, but it is not likely to happen. But it is something I have never encountered myself.
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MAN! I think it’s quite absurd that people equate actions to a specific race. I’ve had numerous people tell me that I sound “white”. I still don’t even know what that means. So only certain people speak properly ? I’m easily offended at such ignorance.
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I’m glad you told us what your college said. Yes, maybe you should of said something the first time he made that comment but, people should not always be on guard to reply to stupid remarks.
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If someone would have said the term “microaggression” to me a few months ago, I would have had no idea what they meant or what they were talking about. But now that I have learned and realized what this term is, I have gained a new insight on the way words affect others. Growing up, in a small community, smart remarks like “that is hella mexican” of you was normal. Looking back, I wish I would have known how ignorant and hurtful those words could be to others.
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Microaggressions can be SO subtle and can go unnoticed sometimes. I recently took the Title IX Ambassador training at school, and its incredible how many people say things that are considered microaggressions. I’ve noticed that sometimes they don’t intend to offend and they don’t think what they’re saying is wrong. It goes hand in hand with stereotypes– like asking why someone doesn’t have an accent if they’re from so-and-so area, or saying that someone doesn’t look gay when they are.
I do think it’s appropriate to correct someone when they say something that offends your identity or the identity of others. It’s a hard spot to be in (should we put ourselves out there and risk being called “overly sensitive” or too “politically correct”?) and I typically don’t unless I’m very riled up. However, I do think it’s important to educate others so they don’t continue on with their offensive ideology. I would love to hear any updates or conversations that you’ve had with this individual after this happened!
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I feel your pain but in a different way. The only way I can get through life is with God. I would have it no other way. So I stay close to God through prayer. I can have the purest intent in what I do and many times I have attacked by negativity just because I know the enemy would love to get me down. But because I’m knowledgeable in what I do it doesn’t bother me. It is a negative remark and your better then it!
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I’ve experienced microagression many times in my life and still do. Before reading this blog post I didn’t even know there was a name for what I’ve experienced. I am Mexican-American and I can’t tell you how many times other Mexicans have told me I’m a “white Mexican” or that I am “white washed”. I have always loved school and done very well in it, and other classmates would tell me I act and talk white. It has always bugged me but I never knew how to deal with the comments so I ignore them. Recently I was sitting next to a girl in class that I went to middle school and high school with. She is also Mexican-American but she speaks more Spanish than English. I, on the other hand speak more English than Spanish so my Spanish isn’t as good as hers. She said something to me in class and I responded in Spanish and she smiled and asked “You don’t speak very much Spanish huh?” I said “Why do you ask that?” and she said “Because you speak Spanish like a white girl”. Anyways, now that I know what microagression is, I realize I see it a lot.
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Thank you for sharing your story. Before reading your post I was not aware of the word microaggression. After knowing what it means and reading your post I think it relates to Mexican Americans. There are Mexicans who are white color and not brown color as others think should look like. There has been several stories I’ve heard of that Mexicans who look white are told “Oh your Mexican, no your kidding you look white and act American”. That is because not all Mexicans are brown color and second or third generations in the U.S adopt the American culture. In the end some identify as Mexican American.
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Vanesa thank you for sharing your story, and yes you are not alone. There are many who have gone through the same situation or even worse, and mostly the media is to blame. Just because i am Mexican-American it does not mean that i am a chola, have a heavy accent, or that i eat only beans and tortillas, and that i should get a job as a maid to supports my 5 kids. And when i do not “act Mexican- Americans” people thing i am trying to act white, which is completely confusing and stupid because WHAT IS ACTING WHITE?
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Isn’t funny that the same person did it two times? I assume this person was trying to be funny?? I don’t know, and I honestly don’t think so!. I strongly believe that people who feels below others always will give “patadas de ahorcado” standing for last ditch effort. By doing it a second time and in front of people. also doing it in front of others.
I also heard the word microaggression at one of my social work classes, they explain me what it means, is confusing to explain to others, but is a very clear word to describe that group of people who is always trying to be aggressive as a response of jealousy.
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I enjoyed reading your story and thank you for sharing it with us. It amazes me how microaggressions have become so common now. And for some they may not even notice it was going on. Growing up I have always been the “half and half” girl. Considering my mom was white and my dad was Mexican. While I was with my dad’s side of the family my grandma would always say I was “half and half”. Over the years I have become so use to it and it makes me wonder if someone else may be offended by the term or if it was just the norm in my family.
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Its so crazy in the 2000’s there is some form of racism going on, it is just sad. Growing up in Watsonville where it is predominately hispanics, my nick name was China girl and I did not name myself that either.
I am really blessed to be living here in Marina and raising my kids in such diverse community. This post really makes me believe, even living in such diverse community, racism is still here, just sad.
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